Monster Hunter 3 YouTubermate
by Red Brachydios
Summary: Can you imagine Markiplier, Yamimash, Cryotic, PewDiePie, CinnamonToastKen, TheRPGMinx, The Game Grumps, and Smosh inside the game of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate? Along with three siblings, who really dislike each other, this story may be worth checking out.
1. Introductions

Sam the Hammer User- Sam is our runt of her siblings. She may be weak, but she is strong in heart, she will not give up until the quest is complete, even if it ends in failure. Her brother, Drillz, made special gloves for her to be able to lift her-a hammer, so without them, she's-a gonna use da Long Sword...-a. She is also a bit psychotic, making up her own stories of situations and people, mainly replacing reality with her own. She owns the War Hammer

Alfred the Gunlancer- The 2nd oldest brother of Drillz and Sam. He is a role model to many of his peers, and is the 2nd strongest of the siblings. He is also very, very, very, EXTREMELY brutal. The only Gunlance his siblings have seen go brutal is the Iron Gunlance, taking down a Rathian in very few shots. He owns the Flamethrower

Drillz the Switch Axeman- He is the middle child of Sam and Alfred, and the smartest of the siblings. With his trusty backpack, he can alternate between many weapons, and when being considerate, he shares his weapons if his siblings break theirs during a quest. He is also an expert Dual Blade user, using Twin Acrus to bring down a Rathian and a Ratholos together. He's been known around his hometown to fiddle in alchemy. He owns the Bolt Axe

Cryotic the Archer- He is a celebrity among many Archers, mainly for his famous chaotic laughs during hunts. He was victim to many fanfictions with PewDiePie and CinnamonToastKen. He owns the Type 64 Multibow I

Ian the Light Bowgunner- The childminded man that can't seem to get his way when Anthony wrecks his stuff. He is also the victim of many, MANY, yaoi fanfictions with Anthony. Oh I'm sorry Anthony, I meant to say Ant, or Anth. He owns the Blizzard Cannon

Anthony the Heavy Bowgunner-The selfie-addicted friend of Ian, always taking selfies with an unconcious monster or a sleeping one. What a psycho! Together with Ian, they form Smosh! (Can someone, preferably the Smosh cast to see how many yaoi fanfictions there are about them?) He owns the Dual Threat

Yamimash the Knight- A foreign man that is well known around Moga Island for his hilarious screams. That, or because he's British. It'a just known he comes from a mysterious land on the other side of the world. He owns the Eternal Strife

Markiplier the Great Swordsman- The same as Yamimash, except he has different colored hair, deeper voice, and much more stronger with his MUSCLES! His alternate persona is a pink mustachioed man with a very thick accent, named Wilfred Warfstache for unknown reasons. He is very sane, but very insane at the same time. He owns the Ravager Blade

Minx the Dual Swordsman- She works with Markiplier at some quests. Sam is a big fan of her. But Sam thinks she may have an interest in Markiplier, but Sam clearly doesn't know that she is already together with another Dual Blade user, Krism. She owns the Jaggid Shotels

CinnamonToastKen the Long Swordsman- A great friend of Minx and Markiplier. He has an alternate persona by the name of Man. He has saved Markiplier and Minx so many times, he is covered in battle scars. He shares the same fate as Cry, the fanfictions man, the fanfictions! He owns the Bleeding Cross

PewDiePie the Lancer- An extremely famous YouTuber known worldwide. He may look weak, but he is extremely strong. He is known for all the Deviljhos, and Zinogres he has slain, and his famous "Brofist". He owns the Red Tail

The Grump Hunter Horns- The group of hunters that bicker with each other while Barry plays different music that raises the stats for the other hunters. The others standing out from the rest is Dan, for his singing and superlative aim with his bowguns, Ross, for being an awesome chef, Arin, for... crossbow action? And Suzy, for being a complete bad-ass!. They own Arin: Diablos Hornbow I, Suzy: Chainslaughter, Dan: Durambarrel, Barry: Barigurio, and Ross: Carapace Sword


	2. New Ho- Oh no

Out on the seas, a ship heads towards the Island Moga, not far off would be the Village Moga... PHHT! If you know Shakespeare, you may know how to read that sentence, if you don't, may the gibberish be with you.

"Land ho!" a shipmate calls out to the passengers inside the ship's belly. Hehe, belly. Many new young hunters were headed to the island for the jobs, go figure. The most distinct hunters would be the Blademasters and Gunners.

These are our hunters coming to the island on the ship. The other passengers are just passengers, and other hunters.

The Captain went down to the sleeping chambers where everyone was packing to get off. "Hello everyone, My name is Argosy, I'm sorry for not being able to visit you all the entire trip, and that you had to leave everything, but a single weapon of your choice, at home. And as a present, I will give each of you your own sets of Leather armor. I will periodically come back to Moga to offer some trades, so keep up with the Cheif's son's calender. We are arriving at port. Farewell, I will be back in a month."

Our hunters land at the port and talk to the village's leader, Village Cheif. "Thank the gods that you all are here! The earthquakes have been ruining our crops and frightening villagers to leave the island. We need you 12 to find out what is going on. I suspect that the Lagiacrus is causing torrents to rip up the island. Still, we need you 12 to find out. I'm just an old man trying to protect his village. My favorite color is blue. Where am I?"

The hunters all reply a solid yes, and were a bit confused by the cheif's last comment and why he immedietly said that they need to kill the thing that is causing them trouble. Then they converse on what to do if they meet up with a giant creature. The siblings begin to buy as much of recovery items as they can. Markiplier, Minx, Yamimash, Pewdiepie, and CinnamonToastKen begin to practice with their swordfighting by dualing eachother. Barry from The Grumps practiced different boost songs and some clubbing skills, while Arin shot at targets to practice his sharpshooting, and Suzy was dualing with Ross while Dan was talking to the Blacksmith about custom making armor. Cry, Ian, and Anthony buy as much ammunition for their respective weapons.

* * *

><p>Sam POV<p>

"Okay. So. If I buy these Combo Books, I will know how to make stuff better, and I have the possibility of getting double the stuff?" I said to the Gal With The Goods. "Yes, how many times do I need to explain it?!" She sounded very pissed.

My big bro Drillz stepped up and said, "It's best you don't answer her questions. We'll take 10 potions each, thank you."

I saw something in my big bro's eyes as he talked to the Gal With The Goods, must've been a hallucination of glowing Wyvern eyes...

* * *

><p>Mark POV<p>

Think about the kittens... Think about the kittens... Thinkaboutthekittensthinkaboutthekittens THINK. ABOUT. THE. KITTE-"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

><p>Ian POV<p>

"Hey, Anthony"

"Yeah, bro?" He was getting some poison ammo

"You think I should buy this Dragon ammo?"

"Just shut up you two, and buy whatever." Cry was buying lots and LOTS of coatings

* * *

><p>Dan POV<p>

"So you can make some custom armor?" I heard the Blacksmith's very old, very scratchy, very LOUD voice, say "Yes, but it will take A LOT MORE CASH TO BE MADE."

"AAHH-AH-HAhaha... Sorry, had a random flashback."

* * *

><p>After all that, they all head to Moga Woods to collect some resources and grab a few Resource Points. They walk up the trail to Moga Woods and spot a few oddeties here and there. Pewdiepie was telling everyone a story of how he almost defeated a double Jhen Mohran quest. Sam was looking at the scenery and one thing caught her eye. One thing that stood out from all the environment would be the slime. She wasn't the talkative type, so she kept her mouth shut.<p>

A strange footprint was spotted by Pewdiepie and he ignored it. Markiplier was observing the footprint, "Guys, maybe we shouldn't go down this path."

Minx crouched next to Markiplier, asking what he meant, "What do you mean, Mark?"

Mark pointed into the footprint right in front of them. "Oh."

Sam walked up to them and asked, "Is that slime?" she pointed out a pile of slime that lead to a trail into Moga Woods.

"This is bad." Markiplier said, he put on a pink mustache and began speaking in a very thick accent. "Ready your weapons! We have a rogue on the loose! Keep your eyes peeled!"

Everyone separated and quietly recovered some resources from the ores, honey combs, old logs, bug nests, and rotting carcasses. The pair of Ian and Anthony were basically keeping lookout for any large monsters on top of the Wyvern's nest, AKA, area 8. Mark and Yami were in the caves, getting some iron and earth crystals. Pewds, Ken, and Minx were off killing some Aptonoth for their meat. Sam was off looking around in the giant cave, area 7, and met up with Ian and Anthony.

"Hey guys, why are you up here?" Sam asked them, Ian yelped in surprise, nearly falling off the cliff. "Jesus crispy cream, girl, be louder!" Ian yelled as he looked down at the pond, area 5. "Uh, dude!" Ian sounded scared as hell. Anthony looked down at the pond and spotted what Ian saw. "Sound the alarm!" Anthony grabbed his Field Horn and blew into it. Sam idiotically decided to look over the cliff and fell. The creature looked up to open it gaping maw and roared.

As almost followed by the roar, a scream was heard. "Alfred, that's Sam." Drillz said to his brother. "Let's go." Alfred said, they mad dashed from area 3 to area 5. Upon arriving area 5, they were met with the terrifying creature. In it's maw, was the body of a girl, who was keeping it's jaws open. "Can someone help?!" Sam was holding her hammer in place between the teeth of the jaws. Ian and Anthony were blasting the creature from the cliff above. Alfred couldn't wait as he ran and jumped onto the creature. He sheathed his Flamethrower and blasted a Wyvern's Fire into the creature's eye. The creature opened it's jaws to roar in pain, Alfred grabbed Sam from the creature's jaws and pulled her out.

Mark, Yami, Minx, Pewds, Ken, Cry, and the Grumps arrived just as Alfred and Sam hit the ground. The Gunners started blasting the hell out of the creature. The Blademasters ran up to the creature and landed multiple hits before it hit them with it's massive tail. The creature had enough and ran to the caves.

"The hell was that?!" Mark gasped as he was heavily breathing and holding his heart. "I have no ****ing clue!" Yami was on the floor, writhing in pain. Sam was also on the floor, unconsious. "Sam knows, she has all the Monster Books memorized by heart, she should know what that thing was." Drills was gently slapping his sister's cheek, she slowly woke up, "Bro. Bro. Are you up? WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!" Pewds was getting fed up and yelled in Sam's face.

"AH!" Sam jumped and accidentally kneed Pewds chest. "Pewds, don't ever yell in a girl's face." Minx lectured Pewds after he began to writh on the floor. Pewds was holding his chest as he swore in Swedish.

Sam was holding her leg, it was injured from the locked jaws of the creature. "What happened?" She asked in a very pained tone. "Nothing happened, absolutely NOTHING happened." Danny was doing some weird arm movements as he talked. "Maybe we should head to basecamp. To let her heal up." Drillz helped Sam up and the group traveled to the basecamp, only to see it in ruins.

"The **** happened here!?" Ken yelled in a very excited/angry tone. Sam was let down by Drillz and walked over to some nests of eggs. "Jaggi, Baggi, Wroggi, Ludroth, and Altroth. It's been like this for a while now." Sam was pointing at nests and the tathered tent that was there. She walked up to the torn up beds, and sat on one, "We need to tell the Cheif's Son. and quickl-"

She was intrupted by the roar that was all too familiar to her, Alfred, and Drillz. Sam curled up into a little ball and got quiet. "Is she all right?" Cry asked Alfred. "No, that roar is the from one species of monster that killed our brother, right in front of her." Alfred sat down on the ground. "It was a few years ago. She was only 5 years old. Me and Drillz were just rookies, I barely knew how to use a Lance, let alone a Gunlance. But Drillz, he was a master with the Dual Blades, but he wanted a challenge, so he trained with the Switch Axe. Anyway, Me, Drillz, and our brother were going on a quest to the volcano in the area where we used to live. But Sam snuck into the hunting materials and came along. Our job was to hunt a Ratholos that was terrorizing the village near there. The reports were wrong, me and Drillz were off on the other side of the volcano, the very fertile area, getting some goods for some healing items. The next thing we know, we hear a familiar sound from home, the sound of our little sister, bawling her eyes out." He laughed at the little notion. "It's when we arrived to the location that we saw a Brachydios, about to punch the lights out of our dear sister. I was panicking a little, but I used the Wyvern's Fire from this very Flamethrower. And I blasted that asshole into the next century."

Alfred continued on with his story, everyone began to hug each other in fear, and look at the curled up Sam. "I'm amazed she hasn't tried anythi-" Arin covered Danny's mouth in case he said anything stupid. "Dude, I think we should just be quiet and pay respect to her brother." Barry whispered into Danny's ear, Danny nodded and took Arin's hand off his mouth. Ken walked up to Sam and nudged her. Sam didn't move, Ken gently lifted up her head. She was asleep, he picked her up and carried her princess style. "Come on. We need to get out of here. Can some of you distract the 'Dios out there? Drive it area 5?"

"I think Minx, me, and Cry can distract that slimy monster." Pewds said as he started out to area 2. Minx and Cry quickly followed. After a few minutes, a flash bomb blow over the sky. Ken knew Felix enough to know what that means. "Everyone, now!" Ken started running with Sam in his hands. Everyone dashed with him, but the Brachydios was still there.

After the Brachydios spotted them, Danny, Arin, Anthony, and Ian all yelled "RUUUUUN!" Arin and Danny held eachother in fear, but Mark picked them up and flung them over his shoulders. "Dang it Felix!" Ken yelled at Pewds and started running to area 1. Everyone then began to run like hell when the Brachydios started to chase them. "EVERYONE RUN!" Minx was a little late on the entry, but everyone was already running. Ian was weeping a bit as he ran awkwardly like everyone. Anthony loaded his Dual Threat with a sleeping bullet, he missed and the bullet was going somewhere else. Cry ran ahead and positioned himself on top of a rock, he then readied an arrow coated in poison. "Say bye-bye you ugly summabich." He whispered, "Duck!" he yelled.

Everyone ducked, 'cept Pewds, who's armor got graised with the arrow, and the arrow hit the Brachydios, square in the right eye. The Brute fell over and crashed into the waterfall. Everyone took advantage of the free time and ran to the gate. Just as they were about to cross the gate, the creature showed up, a dead Kelbi in his massive maw. Ian jumped off Mark and armed his weapon and shot a Dragon S shot into the creature's open maw while it was roaring. It coughed and ran away, frothing at the jaws. "AWESOME!" Ian yelled and crossed the gate. Mark grabbed the gate's switch and slammed the gate shut.

"Is everyone here?" Mark put Anthony, who was frozen in fear, down on the ground. "Counting." Arin was looking around and counted. "There are 14 of us. I think we are good to leave." Everyone was getting ready to leave when Drillz noticed something missing.

"Ken, where's Sam?" Drillz yelled out, "Sam! Where are you!?" The Brachydios'ses' [I dunno how to spell] rage roar echoed through the mountains as Sam appeared, limping, being chased by the Raging Brachydios which jumped infront of her, the slime's explosion sent her launching into a wall of stone. "Somebody! Help!" Sam was very hurt, cornered against the Brachy and the rocks, that's when when Mark started yelling "Hey! You stupid asshole! Come get a piece of," he puts of his mustache, "the Warfstache!"

Minx opened the gate as Mark mad dashed to the Brachydios as he released a Lvl 3 Charge Strike across the Brachy's head. The Brachydios backed up after the strike. Mark grabbed Sam and ran with her to the gate. The Brachy was getting ready to jump, but Ian, Anthony, Arin, and Cry started to fire arrows and bullets at it. The Brachy ran away, just barely any real damage done to it.

Everyone then walked to the gates to the village. Sam limped, Mark lifted her up to put her to sit on his, she said nothing and enjoyed the view of the elevated scenery. "This was a disaster, how are we gonna explain this when we go on a quest?" Minx asked, trying to make conversation as everyone was completely quiet. "Easy, 4 people will go on the same quest, no matter what." Pewds said as he winced as he held the scratch on his armor. "Mr. Pewdiepie, are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah bro, I'm oka-" Pewds collasped and Ken put Pewds body on his shoulders. "Cry, aim better." Ken said as they started to run to the village. "How the hell do you know it was me Ken, how?" Cry started to ramble, quietly to himself, on the same question.

"You were the only one with any poison on you. " Arin was checking Pewds wound, running his finger down it, a purple liquid dripped from his finger. "I'm an archer like you Cry, I know my coatings." Dan interupted right after Arin stopped talking, "My God Arin, when will you stop complmenting your dick?"

"God. Fucking. Damn it, Dan." Arin right then smacked Dan upside the head. "Do you, Arin, want to get shot?" Dan pointed his Diablos Hornbow at Arin. "Oh really? Well I have a freakin' bow." Arin readied an arrow and aimed at Danny. Arin and Danny were having a little stand off like the crabs in Finding Nemo. Saying "Hey" a lot.

"Sweetie, can you put your bow down? We're back at the village anyway." Suzy put Arin's arm down and turned his had to her. They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds. "We've been here for about five minutes, when can we move on?!" Minx was yelling at them. Arin and Suzy were blocking the path for the bridge to the village. "Oh, well this is awkward." Danny said as he strolled past the two frozen lovebirds.

"Mark, can you do something about that?" Minx asked mark in the most polite, about to erupt with rage, tone. Mark set Sam down, then quickly picked Arin and Suzy up from their feets, and brang them to the village, limping after him was Sam. "Mr. Mark, how are so strong?" she asked. "It's been a while since I'm talked to anyone new. I'll explain. (insert some backstory and ramblings about it being over a year since he talked to anybody new)."

"And that's how you got so strong?!" Sam was a bit excited to hear that more hunters Mark knows is coming to Moga. "Oh, how I got strong? Oh, that's easy, a strict hunting schedule, a balanced diet, and a little insanity." Mark got a smug expression on his face. "Then again, it would have to be the great friends I made during the hunts. Oh how fun it'll be once Bob, Jack, and Wade get here. You will see, uh... I don't know your name, what is it?"

"It's Sam. You probably never heard of me. Let alone my brother." Sam made herself a little sad, but Mark stopped. "Was your brother the once famous, but dead, Gravios Samael?" he asked, in a very excited tone. "Yep, I just wish he were still alive though..." Sam had a momentary pause to sit down on the steps. She got a sad look on her face. Mark placed the two frozen lovebirds outside the cabin. He sat next to her.

"Come on, don't be like that. Your brother was able to end the cruelty of a whole generation of hunters. AKA, the Great Wave of Destruction."

The Great Wave of Destruction was a time period that ended over two decades ago. This is when a wave of "YouTubers" started to hunt monsters without question. Many great beasts were near brought to extinction, some were brought to extinction. The Red Brachydios, a ruby red Brute Wyvern with its purple slime able to set off a chain reaction of explosions. The Cannon Duramboros, another Brute Wyvern with a specially evolved tail that can send boulders flying like cannon balls. The Green Rathalos and the Red Rathian, Flying Wyverns that were especially killed for the rare shells and cortexes. And the Daimond Lao Shan Lung, an Elder Dragon that had the strongest armor of all time. They and many more are missed.

Sam wasn't born when the Great Wave of Destruction ended. So she thinks that the monsters in her books are still alive, somewhere out there. "I just wish I had a superlative healing factor, so my leg will feel better." She held her leg and thought of a crazy idea, but she didn't spill the beans. "Mark, I have a question," she had a smile grow across her face, "What rank is the Brachydios on?"

"High rank. You'd need to slay an Elder Dragon though, why?" Mark raised an eyebrow of suspicion at Sam. "No reason..." Sam perpetuated the word to not raise suspicion. She then got up and walked into the cabin, at a bad time. Under the sheets of the bed were two figures doing the "WooHoo."

Sam walked back outside and curled into a trembling mess. Mark looked inside and did the same. Minx walked by and asked, "Why are you two in a trembling ball of trauma?" Mark and Sam pointed to the cabin. Minx looked inside and slapped them across the face. "Why are you two little sissies...?" Minx facepalmed herself, then grabbed their hands.

"Come on, you, you, me, and Sexbang are going on a quest." Minx went inside the cabin and grabbed some whetstone, still not traumatized. "Sexbang, you ready?!" She called Dan from the farm and he was going to the cabin. He went in and yelped in excitment. "Can I join?!" he squealed loudly, "Get out of here, Danny!" Arin was yelling at him.

A few seconds later, Dan is thrown out the doorway and on the floor. Minx picks him up, and heads to the Quest Counter. She leans over the counter and gently says, "Hey hot stuff, we need a quest, ya got one?" the Quest Receptionist blushes and gives them the quest Playing With Fire.

This is the a Key Quest where you have to hunt a Qurupeco. A Great Jaggi or Barroth may appear.

Minx gets the quest sheet and gives it to Sam. "Tell me it's weaknesses." Minx says in a very, very, very, suspiciously calm voice.

"Qurupeco, weak against ice attacks. Can summon a multitude of monsters when it feels threatened. Known for it's wing flints, strange beak, and vibrancey of colors." Sam lists on and on about the Qurupeco. While doing that, they buy a set if chainmail armor. "Okay, Sexbang, get some Ice bullets." Minx tells Dan.

He goes to the Gal With the Goods, and, very seductively, asks for some Ice Pellets. She gives them to him, free of charge. "Thank you" he says as he does Mark's "Seductive Eyebrows" move. As soon as they were ready, they set off to the Sandy Plains.


End file.
